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Biblical Laws for Kids Today (Humor)

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Years ago I received this in an email and I laughed so hard I nearly cried. It’s by Ian Frasier, from The Atlantic magazine (February 1, 1997). The original is at this link.

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Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of…

The Shema and the First Commandment

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Years ago I used to scratch my head at Jesus’ response to the question “What is the greatest commandment?” in Mark 12:28. Why does he start with the line “Hear O Israel, the Lord is Your God, the Lord alone” before stating the command: “Love the Lord your God…”?

Why state a fact before giving a command? Why not just give the command?

I talked a little about this in chapter 2 of Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus, when I discussed how this a quotation of Deuteronomy 6:4-5. These two lines are the beginning of the Shema (“shmah”), the daily prayer of recommitment that has been recited morning and evening for…